In the middle of your perfectly pleasant (if slightly vanilla) romp, your partner suggests a surprising new sexual request.
It takes diplomacy to navigate such scenarios - particularly if the request really comes as a shock. Resist the temptation to screech, "You want me to do what?!?" and run screaming. Instead, take this approach.
Buy Time
Not ready to try it right now? Say so. Add that you'll consider it for next time. It took a lot of trust and bravery to even bring it up, so try not to look appalled or disgusted (even if you kinda are). Be reassuring that you're open to hearing these fantasies ("It's great that you feel comfortable enough with me to bring that up...") even if you're not sure it's your thing.
Investigate
Do a little homework - look online, talk to your more forthcoming (and discreet) friends, browse the "Savage Love" archive (that guy's seen everything). You'll likely find that your honey's kinks, however outrageous to you, are actually quite common and safe.
Say 'No' Nicely
If you're still offended by the request, talk about it in a neutral space (not the next time you're in bed). Explain gently that you've given it some thought, but that it's just not something you're comfortable exploring right now. Suggest a few other things you'd be willing to try instead.
Or Give It a Go
As long as the request isn't illegal or truly troubling, you might consider giving it a try, or finding a "lite" version to compromise. You might even have fun! Even if it's not something you want to add to your regular repertoire, your relationship will still benefit from a new level of trust and intimacy. And, hey, maybe next time your sweetie will be willing to try your crazy fantasy.
-- Copyright Fun Online Corporation
