Will you be my man of honor? From gender-bending rituals to using a friend as the officiant, the newest wedding "rules" are going to startle the poor mother of the bride.
The times they are a changing, for modern brides and grooms. "Although couples may think they're bucking tradition, they're actually collectively creating new wedding rules," says Christa Vagnozzi, senior editor of WeddingChannel.com. "Asking their best guy friend to be a man of honor, deciding to keep their last name and registering for their honeymoon are becoming more mainstream as brides and grooms strive to incorporate their personal style."
Here are the four new wedding traditions for the 21st century:
1. Gender-Bending Rituals
Man of honor? Best woman? Brides and grooms are no longer dismissing their best friends of the opposite sex when it comes to their wedding. In fact, according to a WeddingChannel.com poll, an overwhelming 63 percent of brides said that if their best friend were a guy, they would definitely ask him to be a bridesman or man of honor.
Tip: When it comes to wedding attire, the bridesman wears a tie, pocket kerchief and boutonniere that match the color of the bridesmaid dresses and bouquets. A groomswoman should wear the same color dress as the bridesmaids, but a different style. Her flowers should also be different than the bridesmaids.
2. A Friend as the Officiant
According to a WeddingChannel.com poll, 59 percent of couples would be interested in having a friend or family member officiate. After all, who better to help you tie the knot than a close childhood friend or a favorite relative? Whether it's an interfaith ceremony or one that takes place in the great outdoors, there's nothing more intimate than opting for a friend or relative to help you say "I do".
Tip: The ideal officiant, relative or not, is someone who knows the bride and groom well. The person should be articulate and capable of handling such a momentous occasion – and legally able to officiate at a wedding.
3. The Name Game
Don't make any assumptions when it comes to the bride's last name. According to the Real Weddings Survey 2007 by The Knot Wedding Network, 12 percent of brides don't plan on taking their spouse's name upon marriage. Whether it's for professional reasons or the bride just likes her maiden name more, wedding guests should not expect to hear "I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs." at the next wedding.
Here's a new twist: Blending the two last names to create a brand new one. A recent WeddingChannel.com poll found that 15 percent of brides would consider blending their last names.
Tip: If you do change your name, you must change it on your passport and driver's license, as well as with voter registration, your employer, banks and other financial institutions, clubs and organizations, the post office, insurance companies, your state tax authorities and more.
4. Alternative Wedding Registries
China and crystal are so yesterday. Brides and grooms are ditching traditional registries or augmenting them with such unusual gifts as horseback riding lessons, the honeymoon, a hi-definition plasma-screen TV and even donations to their favorite charity. While most couples still register at two or three different retailers, don't be surprised if one or more of them ends in ".com".
Tip: Etiquette expert Peggy Post gives her approval to the nontraditional registries, but advises couples that not all their guests will be comfortable with this. Brides and grooms should graciously accept those more traditional gifts as well.
--From the Editors at Netscape
