By Laura Snyder
It's probably one of the hardest questions to ask in dating.
Trickier than "where do you see this relationship going." More at stake than "So just how many partners have you had?". Maybe even as nerve-wracking as, "Well, what were the results of the pregnancy test?"
It's that first hard dating question: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
We can't ask the tough questions for you, but we can help you do it the right way - and get the right answer.
Dating Do #1: Be Direct.
The only thing possibly worse than not having dates at all is having a series of vague get-togethers with someone you're crushing on, never knowing if you're on a date, if you're just palling around, if your awkward overtures towards a goodnight kiss will be met gladly or in horrified shock. If what you want is a date, be clear about it right from the start. Instead of, "we should hang out sometime..." go with, "Would you like to have dinner Saturday?"
Dating Do #2: Don't type it in.
Despite the myriad of technological options available to you - email, text, Facebook wall, Twitter, whatever - you need to ask him or her in person or on the phone. Why? Economic research has shown that asking for things "in real time" makes it more likely for the intended to say "yes." Think about it, if he or she is wishy-washy on the idea or doesn't want to hurt your feelings, it's easy to decline or ignore an impersonal email or text message. Put your intended date on the spot, though, and it's harder to say no.
Dating Do #3: Ask Ahead.
Okay, it feels a little "The Rules," but it's not bad advice: ask someone out four or five days in advance. For one thing, they're less likely to have already made plans, but you'll also show you respect his or her time (this is especially true for women). If you make a habit of only giving a few hours notice for invitations, your date will start to wonder if he or she is your back-up plan.
Dating Do #4: Have a plan.
Witness the difference between "We should go out some time..." and "We should try that sushi-making class this weekend." Not only should you have something in mind for a specific date - you should have a really good something in mind. Something your intended date would want to do, no matter the company. Great concert tickets, borderline-crazy activities, unusual new venues. Who would you rather go out with, the guy asking you to another boring dinner-and-a-movie or the one who tells you to meet him at noon at train station?
Dating Do #5: Tone it right.
Don't let your fear of rejection come out in your voice. Just like you'd fake a confident, I-deserve-this-and-of-course-you-agree tone when asking your boss for a raise, you'll get better dating results if you fake a nonchalant can't-hurt-to-ask tone. Maybe your intended will think, "It can't hurt to say yes."
• Read More Love & Sex Articles
Copyright Fun Online Corporation.
It's probably one of the hardest questions to ask in dating.
Trickier than "where do you see this relationship going." More at stake than "So just how many partners have you had?". Maybe even as nerve-wracking as, "Well, what were the results of the pregnancy test?"
It's that first hard dating question: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
We can't ask the tough questions for you, but we can help you do it the right way - and get the right answer.
Dating Do #1: Be Direct.
The only thing possibly worse than not having dates at all is having a series of vague get-togethers with someone you're crushing on, never knowing if you're on a date, if you're just palling around, if your awkward overtures towards a goodnight kiss will be met gladly or in horrified shock. If what you want is a date, be clear about it right from the start. Instead of, "we should hang out sometime..." go with, "Would you like to have dinner Saturday?"
Dating Do #2: Don't type it in.
Despite the myriad of technological options available to you - email, text, Facebook wall, Twitter, whatever - you need to ask him or her in person or on the phone. Why? Economic research has shown that asking for things "in real time" makes it more likely for the intended to say "yes." Think about it, if he or she is wishy-washy on the idea or doesn't want to hurt your feelings, it's easy to decline or ignore an impersonal email or text message. Put your intended date on the spot, though, and it's harder to say no.
Dating Do #3: Ask Ahead.
Okay, it feels a little "The Rules," but it's not bad advice: ask someone out four or five days in advance. For one thing, they're less likely to have already made plans, but you'll also show you respect his or her time (this is especially true for women). If you make a habit of only giving a few hours notice for invitations, your date will start to wonder if he or she is your back-up plan.
Dating Do #4: Have a plan.
Witness the difference between "We should go out some time..." and "We should try that sushi-making class this weekend." Not only should you have something in mind for a specific date - you should have a really good something in mind. Something your intended date would want to do, no matter the company. Great concert tickets, borderline-crazy activities, unusual new venues. Who would you rather go out with, the guy asking you to another boring dinner-and-a-movie or the one who tells you to meet him at noon at train station?
Dating Do #5: Tone it right.
Don't let your fear of rejection come out in your voice. Just like you'd fake a confident, I-deserve-this-and-of-course-you-agree tone when asking your boss for a raise, you'll get better dating results if you fake a nonchalant can't-hurt-to-ask tone. Maybe your intended will think, "It can't hurt to say yes."
• Read More Love & Sex Articles
Copyright Fun Online Corporation.
