One of women's major complaints when it comes to guys is that they won't open up and share their thoughts and feelings. And while it's not always easy for him to do so, he secretly wants to. You just need to know how to get him to open up.
Here's how.
Set the Stage
It's just uncool to spring your sweetie with a serious "We need to talk" right as your foreplay is heating up or as you're both rushing out the door to work. Find a quieter moment - like just before bed -- when you can both concentrate. Or take an indirect route: Get involved in a side-by-side activity, like washing the dishes, and get him gabbing by hiding your particular issue in a seemingly innocent conversation about a friend or something you saw on television or read somewhere.
Be A Team Player
In order to get him to trust you with his secrets -- and prove you won't judge him, or leave him, or laugh at him in return -- you need to reveal something of your own. And when he starts sharing the skeletons in his closet, be sure to take his side. Look at the situation from his point of view and help him feel he's not alone in his experiences.
Watch your reaction
Once you've got him blabbing, don't pounce on his responses. "If you do get him to open up, don't then turn on him," says Dr. Susan Perry, author of Loving In Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay that Way. "If you can be accepting and nonjudgmental, he'll be much more likely to be open next time."
Talk to, not at
Good communication is two-sided. That means making sure you're listening at least as much as you're talking and giving your guy or gal time to chime in. "If you leave space in the conversation, the slower responder has time to think and reflect and say something," says Perry. "If you always jump in, you're losing half of what your guy may have said. If you slow your pace down, you may be surprised with what will pop up out of his mouth."
Be a Trusted, Secure Listener
Do your fights with your guy turn into a list of past done-me-wrongs? Are you in the habit of dishing your relationship details with your gal pals? He open up to you if he fears you'll misinterpret, share with friends or hang on to his word to later throw in his face.
