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The Last Word(s) on 'Twilight' Belong to Kevin Smith

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:15:00 EST

Filed under: Fandom, NSFW, Trailers and Clips

You've read all the reviews and interviews, and watched all the spoof videos. Most of you reading this have probably already watched the film, too. Today, as The Twilight Saga: New Moon finally reaches theaters, it sorta feels like the day after Christmas -- all this hype, work and constant coverage building up to the release of just one film ... and then it's over. Now the "real" fans will begin their endless geeked-out debates on their own fansites, and the rest of us will talk about the film's boffo box office while preparing for three weeks worth of nonstop promo for JAMES F*CKING CAMERON'S AVATAR! ROAR!

So while you drink the last of your blood energy drink, and begin breaking down the Bella and Edward Nativity Scene that's currently on your front lawn, why not let our good buddy Kevin Smith have the last word on all things Twilight. During his panel at this past San Diego Comic-Con, Smith went off for about four minutes on the Twilight Phenomenon, and took us through the experience of watching a clip from New Moon while thousands of young girls screamed their silly little heads off. It's a very amusing clip (that's homemade, so excuse the jerky camera movements), and if it's the last thing you watch before folks begin ramping up their Eclipse coverage, you'll find yourself a happier and more well-adjusted human being because of it.

Watch the clip after the jump, though be warned that it comes with plenty of foul language.

Continue reading The Last Word(s) on 'Twilight' Belong to Kevin Smith

Cinevegas 2010 Cancelled - Who Else is Hurting?

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:03:00 EST

Filed under: Telluride, Newsstand, NSFW, Other Festivals, CineVegas

Cinevegas 2010 Cancelled - Who Else is Hurting?

You couldn't turn a corner in Telluride this year without hearing a festival manager or volunteer gushing thanks to the festival's many sponsors for continuing to support Telluride despite, to quote Charlie Kaufman, today's wintry economic climate. Telluride, a posh film industry mainstay, appeared to weather the storm: the $680 "Festival Passes" -- the most common, middle-of-the-road choice for Telluride pass-holders (passes run from around $300 to over $3000) -- didn't sell out for the first time in recent memory, but the festival was well-attended, the movies plentiful, and apart from the speech-making, the only sign of trouble was that Omaha Steaks provided flatiron instead of sirloin for the event's annual Labor Day picnic.

Some of the less entrenched film events apparently are not so lucky. The increasingly popular CineVegas, for example, recently announced a hiatus for 2010, so that regular attendees -- of whom Cinematical is one (or more) -- had better make other plans for next June. Part of the problem, as The Hollywood Reporter notes, is that unlike Telluride and a great many other film festivals, CineVegas is not a non-profit, which makes sponsorships harder to come by.

Still, though CineVegas may have been minor compared to Toronto, Sundance, etc., it was certainly a major regional player. Several of the lower-profile events with which I'm familiar -- the San Francisco International Film Festival, the Mill Valley Film Festival, the Philadelphia Film Festival -- have gone ahead as planned this year. (The latter was affected by a feud among two major Philly film scene heavyweights, but that's neither here nor there.) The Hollywood Reporter article linked above notes a number of other events that have felt the pinch, though it only cites one other one -- the Jackson Hole Film Festival -- that was canceled entirely for budgetary reasons. How have festivals, repertory venues, and indie art houses fared in your neck of the woods?

Harlan Ellison Recites "I Will Not Read Your F*ing Script," But Will Not Read Your F**ing Script

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 16:20:00 EST

Filed under: Celebrities and Controversy, Scripts, NSFW

Attention, wannabe writers: Josh Olson won't read your f***ing script. Last week in the Village Voice, the History of Violence screenwriter posted an open diatribe against amateur writers who seek the counsel of professional scribes with script/outline/treatment in hand, an expletive-filled rant that caught on like wildfire on the interwebs. This week Olson's manifesto got an added boost from his friend, the notoriously cantankerous writer Harlan Ellison, who recorded a dramatic reading of the essay after it was adapted into Dr. Seuss-speak by writer Steve Jarrett:

"I will not read your f***ing script
I will not read it in a car
I will not read it in a bar
I will not have it in my house
I will not click it with my mouse
I will not read it here or there
I will not read it anywhere
I'd rather be tied up and whipped
Than have to read your f***ing script" - Excerpted from Steve Jarrett's "I Will Not Read Your F***ing Script"

[Above center, Olson and Ellison (along with Elvis Mitchell) at SXSW 2008. Photo by Jette Kernion.]

Continue reading Harlan Ellison Recites "I Will Not Read Your F***ing Script," But Will Not Read Your F****ing Script