If you really want to conquer the workplace and rise to the top, one thing in particular will help you get there: Be likeable. Don't intimidate.
That's the advice of Tim Sanders, a Yahoo! executive and author of the new self-help book, "The Likeability Factor." When we're nice to others at work, we aren't being weak. Instead, he says we're being emotionally attractive, which is psycho-speak for exuding a sense of joy, happiness, relaxation, or rejuvenation, report TIME and The New York Times.
Sanders calls it the L-factor or the likeability factor. When people want to be around you, that "is truly the secret of a charmed, happy, and profitable life," he writes in his book.
Why be likeable in the office? Because there's a huge payoff. Sanders insists that good things happen to people who act this way--as in, they are more likely to be hired, promoted, and retained than their grumpy colleagues. He insists that even high-level managers and CEOs can be more effective at their jobs if they are emotionally attractive.
His book actually lists the instructions aspiring executives should follow to get ahead and the rest of us should follow to just survive day to day. Sanders knows this isn't an original idea. Dale Carnegie made a big name and an even bigger fortune pushing essentially the same concept in his 1936, "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Still, repetition doesn't hurt.
Who is the least emotionally attractive? Without a doubt, it's men, Sanders tells TIME. They don't smile--at least enough. Smiling is the first step to being liked. Bosses need to pay attention to this. If your employees like you, rather than fear you, you really will get better work from them. Sanders says that a nasty or inconsiderate boss leads to less productive employees and a culture of unhappiness in the office. It can also run good employees right out the door.
Sanders says the idea of likeability crosses all types of businesses. He told TIME reporter Andrea Sachs, "There are many companies I work with that have abolished unfriendliness. They actually call the system IONU: I observe no unfriendliness. What it means is that unfriendliness will never be tolerated."
How to raise your L-factor:
1. Be friendly. Communicate welcome.
2. Be relevant. Connect to your colleagues' wants and needs.
3. Be empathetic. Understand how others feel and think.
4. Be real. Don't be a phony. Be factual and actual.
New York Times reporter Paul B. Brown admits some of this may sound hokey, but notes, "Mr. Sanders is on to something here. Likable people do seem more successful."
If being likeable just isn't possible, at least be polite. Do not scream or slam down the phone. Shut doors quietly and bite your tongue on that sarcastic retort. And if you're a really slow learner when it comes to being likeable, just be quiet.
