Ty Tashiro, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Maryland, College Park, has identified five ways to do just that.
1. Have a conversation about what initially attracted you to your partner.
Talk about those things that first attracted you to your partner and are still attractive years later. Doing this for just five minutes can greatly increase your positive feelings toward one another.
2. Try something new.
Sharing a new and exciting activity will increase the bond between you and your partner. Even silly activities, such as binding your ankles together and then trying to complete an obstacle course (think middle school gym class), increases your feelings of closeness with each other.
3. Celebrate the positive.
After being together for a long time, some couples become so focused on avoiding negative interactions that they forget to rejoice in the positives. Recent research has shown that sharing positive events and more important, responding enthusiastically to your partner's good news, is one of the strongest predictors of overall satisfaction. Even if it's something that you are not that excited about, such as your husband winning his fantasy football league, imagine how excited he must be and try to match that level of enthusiasm when responding to the good news.
4. Don't be afraid to open yourself up to your partner.
Research has consistently demonstrated that sharing intimate details of your life will bring you and your partner closer. Talking openly about fears or anxieties with a partner and having that partner respond empathically builds trust in the discloser and the partner providing support.
5. Listen. It's harder than you think.
An easy way to enhance your relationship that sounds obvious, but is commonly not executed well on a day-to-day basis, is actually listening to what you're partner says. Listening and sharing intimate details about your life may sound like common sense, but research on gender differences strongly suggests that men often fail to do either. Paying attention to the little details of a conversation, as well as setting realistic goals, can enhance your relationship in very meaningful ways. Little actions can go a long way!
--From the Editors at Netscape
