Do This With Your Lover. Live Longer

November 21, 2008, 01:00 AM Post Comments

| More

When you get angry at your lover, don't hold back. Husbands and wives who hold in their anger die earlier than "expressive" couples who argue loudly and then resolve the conflict. LiveScience.com reports this is the preliminary finding from a 17-year study of 192 married couples ranging in age from 35 to 69 conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health and Psychology Department, who have determined that the release of anger is far healthier than holding it in. The team grouped the couples into categories, based on how they coped with their anger in hypothetical situations. Of these, 26 couples (52 individuals) were "suppressors" where both husband and wife held in their anger.

Five things couples argue about: The key to staying happily married is to fight--just a little. Find out the most common irreconcilable differences.

Among the anger suppressors, 25 percent died during the study, compared with 12 percent of the expressive couples. In 27 percent of the suppressor couples, one member of the couple died during the study period, and in 23 percent of those couples, both died during the study period. That compares to only 6 percent of couples where both spouses died and 19 percent where one partner died in the remaining three groups combined. These results held even after other health issues were factored in, including age, smoking, weight, blood pressure, bronchial problems, breathing and cardiovascular risk.

Find out how two specific personality traits can be a sign you'll live a long time--or die young.

"When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict," lead researcher Ernest Harburg told LiveScience.com. "Usually nobody is trained to do this. If they have good parents, they can imitate, that's fine, but usually the couple is ignorant about the process of resolving conflict." And resolution is critical. Previous research backs this up. LiveScience.com reports that one earlier study showed that angry people tend to make better decisions, apparently because anger triggers the brain to ignore irrelevant cues and focus on the essence of the matter at hand. Yet another study showed that angry individuals who express their emotions gain a sense of control and optimism over the situation.

You won't believe this secret for a long and happy marriage!

On the other hand, bottling up that anger creates stress--which wreaks havoc on the body and can shorten lifespan. When you bury the anger, you tend to brood on the quarrel and that leads to resentment for the other person. He or she becomes an attacker. Feelings and issues are not expressed and the problem is not solved. The study will continue with 30-year follow-up data. Harburg expects the final results to be even more astounding with almost double the death rate for suppressor couples. The study findings were published in the Journal of Family Communication.

Frequent sex can help you to live longer. Find out 9 other health benefits of spending a lot of time in bed with the one you love.